


A Chat-astrophe

by nerdaf00



Category: Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rick Riordan, The Heroes of Olympus - Rick Riordan
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Alternate Universe - College/University, Chatting & Messaging, Crack Treated Seriously, Fluff, Idk what I’m doing, I’ll add tags as they come, Multi, Sexual innuendos, Swearing, bcus teenagers/adults ya know, but like it’s not just crack ya know
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-04-22
Updated: 2019-06-05
Packaged: 2020-01-23 17:05:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,776
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18554074
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nerdaf00/pseuds/nerdaf00
Summary: *mermaidman has created the chat: hooes**mermaidman has added wizegorl, FlyBoi, GoldenGorlHaz, and 5 others to the chat: hooes*RARA: what the actual FUCK is this Jackson?!mermaidman: im tired of having seperate chats with all of you, so here we aremermaidman: one big happy groupchat!OrPercy creates a groupchat for the seven, Nico, and Reyna a few days before move-in day/orientation. Shenanigans ensue, clowning happens, and their friendship only grows through the power of ~crackheadassery~





	1. mermaidman has created the chat: hooes

**Author's Note:**

> Hello~ I hope yall enjoy this, I really like chatfics and wanted to try one for myself. Let’s get it!!

  * 09:37



 

_ *mermaidman has created the chat: hooes*  _

 

_ *mermaidman has added wizegorl, FlyBoi, GoldenGorlHaz, and 5 others to the chat*  _

 

**wizegorl** : I can’t believe you actually did it. 

 

**RARA** : what the actual FUCK is this Jackson?! 

 

**piperspray** : owo what’s this???

 

**mermaidman** : im tired of having separate chats with all of you, so here we are

**mermaidman** : one big happy groupchat! 

**mermaidman** : everyone say HORAY FRIENDSHIP 

 

**wizegorl** : *hooray 

 

**FlyBoi** : Horay

 

**piperspray** : horay 

 

**McDiAngelo** : horay 

 

**RARA** : horay

 

**flaminghotladykillerwinkwonk** : horay 

**flaminghotladykillerwinkwonk** : LMAO get fucked

 

**mermaidman** : I HATE ALL OF YOU 

 

**Zhangarang** : hooray 

 

**GoldenGorlHaz** : OH YAS HOORAY FRIENDSHIP!! (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧

 

**mermaidman** : *I HATE ALL OF YOU EXCEPT HAZEL AND FRANK 

 

**McDiAngelo** : why am I here and why the f u c k is my name like this

 

**mermaidman** : because we’re ~friends~ Nico 

 

**wizegorl** : You were obsessed with McDonald’s happy meals at one point, hence the name.

 

**flaminghotladykillerwinkwonk** : HEY!

**flaminghotladykillerwinkwonk** : happy meals are the shit!!!

 

**Zhangarang** : what’s so wrong with happy meals?

 

**RARA** : Nothing.

**RARA** : He just ordered them three times a week for 4 months straight.

 

**FlyBoi** : i am… disgusted

 

**McDiAngelo** : I resent that statement

**McDiAngelo** : Nothing about me is straight

 

**piperspray** : how are you still alive?

 

**McDiAngelo** : bold of you to assume I’m alive

 

**piperspray** : oof 

 

**mermaidman** : lmao

**mermaidman** : me too buddy

 

**flaminghotladykillerwinkwonk** : FUCKIN

**flaminghotladykillerwinkwonk** : big MOOOOOOOD

 

**Zhangarang** : wow same

 

**mermaidman** : fuckin same - AB

 

**GoldenGorlHaz** : agreed

 

**RARA** : now that we’ve established that we’re all dead inside

 

**FlyBoi** : actually I’m doing good

 

**piperspray** : outliers aren’t included in this study

 

**RARA** : minus Jason cause he’s weird

 

**FlyBoi** : HEY

 

**flaminghotladykillerwinkwonk** : gaklsjdajksdjdkak LMAO

 

**Zhangarang** : press f to pay respects

 

**GoldenGorlHaz** : f

 

**flaminghotladykillerwinkwonk** : f

 

**mermaidman** : f

 

**RARA** : f

**RARA** : but ANYWAYS

**RARA** : What dorms are you guys in for next year?

 

**GoldenGorlHaz** : I have no idea how this housing system works, but the email says I’m in Pluto Hall, room 6

 

**piperspray** : venus, 4

 

**McDiAngelo** : oh haze we’re in the same house, I’m room 11

 

**FlyBoi** : Jupiter, 7

 

**mermaidman** : Neptune, 7

**mermaidman** : lmao jason, its like the Spier-Man meme where theyre pointing at each other

 

**RARA** : why is Spider-Man the only thing that’s capitalized/has proper grammar???

 

**mermaidman** : bcus hes the most important thing in the sentence

 

**wizegorl** : I’m in Minerva Hall, room 3

 

**Zhangarang** : Mars Hall, room 12

 

**flaminghotladykillerwinkwonk** : VULCAN, 11 

**flaminghotladykillerwinkwonk** : BOW BEFORE MY SUPERIOR HALL NAME BICTHES

 

**McDiAngelo** : no

 

**flaminghotladykillerwinkwonk** : oop well I tried

 

**RARA** : I’m in Bellona Hall, room 5

 

**mermaidman** : i read that as bologna

 

**flaminghotladykillerwinkwonk** : oof same

 

**RARA** : P e r i s h

 

**mermaidman** : Dont Tell Me What To Do

 

**flaminghotladykillerwinkwonk** : YoUrE nOt My DaD

  
  
  


  * 11:33



 

**flaminghotladykillerwinkwonk** : *harumphs delicately*

**flaminghotladykillerwinkwonk** : Excuse me, my fine ladies and gents, but I just realized I know next to nothing about what you’re all majoring in.

 

**RARA** : You could have just asked like a normal person…?

 

**piperspray** : see that’s the kicker

**piperspray** : he isn’t normal

 

**flaminghotladykillerwinkwonk** : fuck off piper

**flaminghotladykillerwinkwonk** : anywanks, I’m majoring in engineering, uwu

 

**Zhangarang** : I…. really want to ask what anywanks means but I’m frightened

 

**flaminghotladykillerwinkwonk** : you should be

 

**mermaidman** : im marine-bio and Annabeth is architecture

 

**FlyBoi** : aeronautics with a physics minor

 

**GoldenGorlHaz** : I’m undeclared for right now, but I’m looking into being a vet

 

**Zhangarang** : I think I’m doing communications

 

**RARA** : Law

 

**piperspray** : com as well lol

 

**McDiAngelo** : mathematics w/ a comp-sci minor bc I hate myself

 

**RARA** : why would you do that to yourself????

 

**McDiAngelo** : I just fucking said I hate myself, gods

**McDiAngelo** : can you read or are you Jared, 19??

 

**mermaidman** : ‘sometimes i wish i wish was jared’ - AB

 

**flaminghotladykillerwinkwonk** : whymst the fuck do you keep answering for Annabeth

 

**mermaidman** : she cant use her phone right now

 

**GoldenGorlHaz** : ummmm, why?

 

**mermaidman** : shes busy

 

**RARA** : ok that’s enough, we don’t need to know anymore

 

**piperspray** : uh Percy shouldn’t you be paying more attention to your gf than the gc

 

**mermaidman** : y

 

**FlyBoi** : isn’t she going down on you..?

 

**mermaidman** : NO WTF

**mermaidman** : NO SHE ISNT

 

**Zhangarang** : can we keep the chat pg-13 please?

 

**mermaidman** : ANNABETH IS WRITING A PAPER

**mermaidman** : FOR A CLASS SHE HASMT EVEN STARTED YET

 

**flaminghotladykillerwinkwonk** : hasmt

 

mermaidman: shut the fuck your mouth ಠ益ಠ

 

**piperspray** : my mistake

 

**RARA** : all our mistake tbh

**RARA** : sorry for assuming

 

**mermaidman** : forgiven, for now

 

**FlyBoi** : I’m only partially sorry because you were cryptic for no reason

 

**mermaidman** : oh fucc off

 

**McDiAngelo** : now that THAT’S over

**McDiAngelo** : Will would like you all to know that he’s majoring in nursing

 

**mermaidman** : wow he must hate himself more than you hate yourself

**mermaidman** : ive heard nursing is brutal

 

**McDiAngelo** : eh at least we’ll die together

 

**flaminghotladykillerwinkwonk** : huh, GAYYYYYYY

 

**McDiAngelo** : I SURE AM

 

**RARA** : gods we’re a mess

  
  
  


  * 01:56



 

**wizegorl** : Do you guys ever just, idk, take your horse to the old town road?

**wizegorl** : And then just, well, ride, until you can’t no more?

 

**GoldenGorlHaz** : I would if I had a horse :(

 

**FlyBoi** : I really don’t need, or want, to know what you and Percy get up to your spare time

 

**RARA** : H-ZCK

 

**mermaidman** : hskakkskdhakalskdj

**mermaidman** : J A S O N NO

 

**piperspray** : I GOT THE HORSES IN THE BACK

**piperspray** : HORSE TACK IS ATTACHED

 

**flaminghotladykillerwinkwonk** : HAT IS MATTE BLACK GOT THE BOOTS THATS BLACK TO MATCH

 

**wizegorl** : @GoldenGorlHaz I think there’s a horse type club that takes trips to actually ride on the weekends, you should check.

**wizegorl** : @FlyBoi I hope you choke on a spider in your sleep tonight.

**wizegorl** : Friendship with Jason cancelled, Piper and Leo have now moved up in the Friendship Ranks™

 

**piperspray** : it’s what she deserves

 

**Zhangarang** : lol guys, Jason is Miss Keisha

 

**GoldenGorlHaz** : oh my fckin gods, she fckin dead

 

_ *FlyBoi has left the chat* _

 

**McDiAngelo** : RIP 

 

**mermaidman** : not on my watch b i t c h

 

_ *mermaidman has added FlyBoi to the chat* _

 

**FlyBoi** : please just let me leave

 

**wizegorl** : Hell has no exits.

 


	2. Hey Now You're A Freshman

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The gang goes through their first day of orientation!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! After a very long time here it is! chapter 2~ I skipped move-in day because everyone was gonna be with their families and they're all spread out across the dorms, so here's the beginning of orientation! no beta we die like men

         7:30

 

 **GoldenGorlHaz** : Good morning everyone!!! Don’t forget orientation starts at 8 and we’re meeting up outside so we can sit together

 **GoldenGorlHaz** : This includes you Nico, please invite Will to do the sits as well ;)

 

 

         7:37 

 

 **mermaidman** : can someone pls tell me why orientation starts so fucking early !!!

 **Mermaidman** : i mean,,,,,, WERE HERE A FULL FUCKIN WEEK EARLY

 

 **Flaminghotladykillerwinkwonk** : they could’ve spread the events that are going on today into the other orientation days

 **Flaminghotladykillerwinkwonk** : no other day starts this early, who the frickety FUCK made this schedule this packed!!!

 

 **RARA** : this is early for you??

 

 **Wizegorl** : Babe you aren’t going to die, please refrain from shouting in the chat.

 

 **Flaminghotladykillerwinkwonk** : its like the orientation administration made toast and put jelly on it but it was just a giant glob of jelly, so they tried to spread it to even everything out but they didnt have a knife so they used thIER HANDS

 

 **FlyBoi** : ^^^^^ bruh what?

 

 **Piperspray** : after spending the whole summer sleeping through most of the day and being awake until 3 am this is considered the asscrack of dawn

 

 **Wizegorl** : Piper, Percy, and Leo spent most of the week nights bouncing between Fortnite, League, and Overwatch.

 **Wizegorl** : Most of the time they didn’t stop playing until they had lost so many games in row.

 

 **Mermaidman** : im not programed to be awake before 8am

 

 **Flaminghotladykillerwinkwonk** : merbro didn’t you work at a summer camp??

 

 **Mermaidman** : i did flamebro and i made mad bank while working there too

 **Mermaidman** : it was just a day camp through the ypua and i had to be there at 9, kids started ariving at 930

 

 **FlyBoi** : lemme guess you were a lifeguard?

 

 **Zhangarang** : He actually led the outdoor expedition/hiking thing

 **Zhangarang** : I ended up lifeguarding and I n e v e r want to do it again

 

 **Piperspray** : wasn’t this the camp that one kid ended up shitting in the pool at

 

 **Flaminghotladykillerwinkwonk** : lMAO DEADASS!?!?!?!

 

 **Zhangarang** : YES AND IT WAS THE WORST EXPERIENCE OF MY ENTIRE LIFE

 

 **RARA** : I think this requires an F in the chat for Frank please pay your respects

 **RARA** : F

 

 **Mermaidman** : f

 

 **wizegorl** : f

 

 **flaminghotladykillerwinkwonk** : f

 

 **FlyBoi** : f

 

 **Piperspray** : f

 

 **GoldenGorlHaz** f

 

 **McDiAngelo** : fat f

 **McDiAngelo** : also where the fuck is everyone, i can’t find any of you

 

 **GoldenGorlHaz** : I’m by the front doors of the gym, you’ve walked passed me several times.

 **GoldenGorlHaz** : Will has waved each time you guys go by, I think he might actually start crying from laughter if you do it again.

 

 **McDiAngleo** : a traitor is gonna die tonight

 

 **flaminghotladykillerwinkwonk** : no dont kill him! Id probably do the same thing tbh

 

 **McDiAngleo** : you don’t get it because you don’t have a significant other, Annabeth is at least on my side, right?

 

 **wizegorl** : Yeah, I’d be mad but I don’t think I’d kill Percy.

 

 **mermaidman** : hah!! suck it leo!

 

 **wizegorl** : Would I kick him in the shins for it? Absolutely.

 

 **mermaidman** : oh nvm i geuss

 

 **FlyBoi** : oof suck to suck, I guess

 

 **flaminghotladykillerwinkwonk** : hAh!! SuCk It PeRcY!

 

 **piperspray** : it really do be like that on this bitch of an earth

 **piperspray** : id be will in this situation btw

 

 **RARA** : while this is really funny, orientation starts in ten minutes

 

 **mermaidman** : hzzck

  
  


        8:30

 

**Zhangarang** : @flaminghotladykillerwinkwonk @mermaidman @wizegorl @FlyBoi @RARA @McDiAngelo I’ll see you all at lunch, I guess

 

**mermaidman** : gentlepeople, its been an honor serving with you all

 

**wizegorl** : Babe over half of us are in the school of math & science, also yeah Frank we’ll see y’all later.

 

**RARA** : I know exactly zero people in the school of business, pls pray for me

 

**flaminghotladykillerwinkwonk** : this gives you the chance to make friends!!!

**flaminghotladykillerwinkwonk** : *sniff* they grow up so fast

  
  
  


        11:14

 

**Zhangarang** : We’re only halfway done and I’m ready to mcdie

 

**McDiAngelo** : I think we’re All ready to McDie, my guy

 

**Piperspray** : am i tripping or is nico actually typing like a human bean???

 

**McDiAngelo** : Lmao, this is Will actually! Nico fell asleep an hour ago, during security’s presentation.

 

**RARA** : he actually looks very peaceful when he’s asleep

 

**mermaidman** : yall are cute

**mermaidman** : im glad youre his type will

 

**McDiAngelo** : XD XD XD

 

**wizegorl** : Oh my gods, that was two years ago Percy. Are you still shook?!? 

 

**mermaidman** : an elephant never forgets 

  
  
  


        2:53

 

**GoldenGorlHaz** : I still can’t believe they ended up separating us based on the which school your program is in! 

 

 **wizegorl** : While I understand why they did it, it was completely pointless for the first half of the day.

**wizegorl** : AND they also didn’t need to split us up even further based on programs!! While I’m thankful I got to meet my faculty adviser, it could’ve waited another day or two.

 

**mermaidman** : im aboiut to take the PHATTEST nap when i get back to my room

 

**flaminghotladykillerwinkwonk** : we’re still getting dinner later right??

 

**FlyBoi** : hells yeah man

 

**piperspray** : yeet

 

**flaminghotladykillerwinkwonk** : #sweet

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I set up their orientation like how mine was, some stuff was exaggerated but it's the thought that counts. Thanks for reading, please leave any topics/prompts/whatever for the gang in the comments and I'll try to do it justice :) Also Happy Pride!

**Author's Note:**

> Did you figure out who’s who??? Hehe I think I made it clear enough but if not here’s a list (names might change at a later date):
> 
> mermaidman: Percy  
> wizegorl: Annabeth  
> flaminghotladykillerwinkwonk: Leo  
> FlyBoi: Jason  
> piperspray: Piper  
> Zhangarang: Frank  
> GoldenGorlHaz: Hazel  
> RARA: Reyna  
> McDiAngelo: Nico
> 
> I was so fucking p r o u d when I came up with Piper’s username lmao. If you have any nickname suggestions lemme know.
> 
> I marked this as complete because I dont know when I’ll be able to add onto it. If I kept this thing going what would y’all wanna see the gang talk/argue/freak out about?
> 
> Thanks so much for reading!


End file.
